In every relationship, a man catches himself wondering - “What in the world is this girl thinking”. Sound familiar? Although we can never know exactly how the “better smelling” sex thinks, there are certainly a few things to keep in mind so we don’t over-analyze and drown in needless confusion.
First of all, women are emotional beings…on average, more so than men. So while we might make decisions and not really think too much about the pros and cons of each, women tend to heavily weigh potential outcomes. In order to make this more efficient, we should be prepared by asking questions. Yes, asking questions is so easy, yet so many men never end any statement with a question mark. When talking with a woman, every time you find yourself wondering what she is thinking, simply ask - indirectly. Don’t come right out and ask “What are you thinking?”. This never works. Try probing with “How would you feel if…” or “How do you feel when…”. This lowers the feeling of vulnerability and eases communication.
Second, women like to categorize their emotions more than men. So, while you might think something is “not that big of a deal,” a women might…so make sure you keep this in mind. You may never understand why something is such a big deal to a woman when it hardly matters to you, so just know that it is…and that you can’t change it. Once you are ok with this, you will be happier and communicate on a much more level field.
Here are some helpful tips to help you better understand what your girlfriend or wife is thinking.
- Don’t ever get defensive. Most women expect open communication. Always make an effort to take a few steps back and put yourself in her shoes.
- Ask away. Many times when you ask a woman if something is wrong, she will play it cool. What she really wants is for you to figure it out and gently probe it out. I have no idea why women are like this, but you most likely already know what is wrong…so bring these items up. Once you are on target, she will begin to open up.
- Listen! Many times a woman is not soliciting comments from you, nor is she looking for resolution. Sometimes, she may just want to vent…and it is so important that you sit and listen. She might not want advice or your “words of wisdom”…so you need to learn when she is asking for advice and venting.